This morning, as we read our morning devotional from the classic book that has been an encouragement and inspiration over the past year, the challenge was given to "call back" to those behind us in the walk of life's challenges.
Just over a year ago, Bob and I began a new journey following his diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. I began this blog as a way to process and share the walk that we were suddenly and unexpectedly starting. I knew only that we did not walk alone, that our God was going before us, and was behind us, and would be with us at every turn of the road, and that we would be dwelling in His sheltering presence through it all. And so, one year later, I pause in the journey to look back and reflect on the road we have traveled, and hopefully to "call back" encouragement and hope as you walk your own road of challenges and unexpected detours and obstacles. Because, we have learned that this road has been not only one of hard places, but one of great beauty and joy along the way.
For me, this year has been mostly about learning to walk.
Walking is rather mundane in our culture... it doesn't have the mystique that is attached to running.... no fancy clothing, specialty magazines, talk of hitting walls and experiencing highs, prestigious marathons and news coverage.... .
But,...
I've always been intrigued by a little phrase in the Bible, where God promises that those who wait upon Him--- who rely on Him and trust Him and focus their gaze on Him and believe that He acts for them---will "walk and not faint".(Isaiah 40:31) This promise comes after the one that they will "mount up with wings as eagles and they shall run and not be weary". Somehow, mounting up with wings and soaring like an eagle, and running the race without weariness, both seem to be much more dramatic and exciting promises than just walking without fainting.
But, isn't walking really harder? Simply because it is so mundane, so ordinary, so daily and constant. To walk and not faint is about perseverance.
And, the very foundation of our relationship with God, FAITH, is described, not as a soaring flight or an adrenaline fueled race, but as a walk.
"We walk by faith and not by sight".(2 Corinthians 5:7)
Our Biblical examples of faith, such as Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and David, all are described in the Bible as those who walked with God. Over and over in the scriptures, God admonishes his people to walk in His ways, in his statutes, in his presence and to not walk in the wrong paths and the wrong ways. The journey of faith is a walk.
And this year, I have been learning to walk.
This has not been a year to rush through, but a year to slow down, to notice, to pay attention to details, to learn to be present in the moment.
Small things that would go unnoticed if soaring with the eagles have become visible and appreciated when walking.
Acts of kindness that would be barely registered if racing for the next finish line have become more precious than silver as we walk this new path.
Simple pleasures have been consciously appreciated each day of this year.
The practice of eucharisteo has steadied my steps and enabled me to walk in thanksgiving
A few weeks ago I came across the title of a book, We Make the Road by Walking, by Brian McLaren .I haven't read the book, but the title resonates with me. If we are commanded to walk by faith, how do we learn to do it? We do it by walking it. As we walk, we create the road we are walking on. By faith, we can transform a road of difficulty into a road of blessing and joy. A road of fear and uncertainty becomes a road of faith.
The road of faith is made as we choose faith, as we look to God's truth in each situation of our lives, as we apply God's Word to the details of our circumstances, as we believe God and not the other voices in our heads or on our facebook feed or in the news.
For too much of my life, I have made a different road. At many times of crisis in my life, I have made a road of fear, a road of self-pity, a road of resentment and complaint....the antithesis of a road of faith. That road was made by choosing to walk by sight, by what I could see and feel and reason and hear from other people instead of choosing to walk in God's presence. That road was made by walking in my emotions instead of in God's word. That road was ugly, and hard, and filled with weeds and holes that tripped me up and left me bruised, scraped and bleeding in my own self inflicted wounds.
But, this year, I am learning to walk and to make a different road. I am still a toddler, walking on shaky legs and uncertain feet, but the road is called FAITH and this road is filled with wonder and thanksgiving as I look at all that God has done over the past several months.
***He has preserved Bob's life beyond the prediction of six months to a year that was given with his diagnosis.
***He has strengthened Bob through 25 rounds of chemotherapy and enabled him to continue to participate in normal, everyday life....coffee at Chik fil A with friends, worship on Sunday morning with our church family, morning walks through the neighborhood, errands in town and chores around the house, eating out at favorite restaurants...simple acts that we didn't expect to be part of this year but that are cherished and deeply enjoyed.***He has blessed us with two perfect and beautiful new grandchildren and the joy to be present with both newborns and experience their first days of life, as well as continue to travel and enjoy our families throughout this year.
***He has poured out lavish love upon us through friends who have prayed , called , messaged, sent cards and visited...who have truly been "Jesus with skin on" to us as we have walked.
***He has led us into a deeper relationship with each other and given us time to remember, reflect, and relive our past 44 years together with a new perspective and with the insight to see God's hand at work and His redemptive plan for all of the good and the bad, the highs and the lows we've experienced.
***He has brought back into our lives friends that were left behind along the many moves and changes of our lives, He has healed and redeemed other relationships, He has raised up prayer warriors for us among people that we have not even met, and put strangers in our path to bless us.
And, so we continue to "make the road by walking" as we walk in faith on this journey. Faith is not a quantitative measure, not a substance that some people possess more of than others. Faith is a process, faith is a journey, faith is past, present and future, faith is revealed as we walk in it and walk by it and walk through it. It is my prayer that I will continue to make the road that I am walking a road of faith and to encourage anyone else who needs to learn to walk. (For more about our journey this year, you can read the archived posts listed to the left of this one.)
And as I "call back" to you about our walk this year, I pray that the testimony of all that God has done for us will strengthen you and help you to believe that, no matter the storms or stumbles or darkness that you may be in now, there is joy to be found, there is beauty along the road and always, always, always, God has gifts for you in this journey that you can not yet imagine.
Here is part of the poem from today's devotional---
"If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back--
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track:
And if, perhaps, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.
Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the lofty air was still.
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back--
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.
( from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowan)
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