Live Joyously.
That was the bold challenge that led me to make an impulse purchase this week: I bought perfume. Perfume. I almost never, ever wear perfume.
But on the way to the back of the huge beauty mart, focused on getting hair products that promised me volume and shine---yes, I'm still credulous after so many failed purchases---resolutely resisting the allure of rows of rainbow colored nail polish with names like “Don’t Touch My Tutu” , “You Calling Me a Lyre?“ and “Teal the Cows Comes Home”...a day’s entertainment just reading the labels....
...ignoring the seductive promises of skin products to renew, restore, and revive my aging skin and to lift and give sparkle to my weary eyes, resisting even the allure of one blatantly named HOPE IN A JAR---what marketing genius, naming a cream for what every woman seeks at the cosmetic counter...I determined not to be waylaid.
Until. Until this. I was about to step around the tall ,free standing perfume display in the center of the aisle when my mind registered the words I saw on the placard. Boldly calling attention to the new product, these words repeated on each shiny, cellophane wrapped box and on each pink labeled bottle gleaming on the glass shelves….
but they already had me at hello.
Because, as we have begun this perilous journey called cancer, I have been seeking how to traverse it well. How do we live facing death? How do we not let the diagnosis rule our emotions and color our days? How do we live in light, in joy even, when walking this road? What do we need to pack and what do we need to leave behind as we take the journey unwanted, the trip unplanned for, the adventure not sought? Of course, we walk by faith, we walk knowing God is carrying us, but what purposeful steps do I take to make each day to make myself aware of God at work in my life?
One answer I have been finding is in eucharisteo---learning to live in joy, grace and thanksgiving. I am indebted to Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts,for introducing me to the understanding and practice of eucharisteo . "Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek work for grace, charis.But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word, chara,meaning 'joy'.....As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible...Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be---unbelievably--possible! Eucharisteo...the fullest life". (One Thousand Gifts, selected, p.32-33)
And so I take the "Joy Dare". http://www.aholyexperience.com/joy-dares/
...a choice to notice my life, to record the daily blessings, the threads of God's grace woven almost indistinctly throughout my day unless I have eyes to discern their subtlety. In doing so, I have discovered that in the practice of conscious thanksgiving, of actively searching for joy, that my perspective shifts, and I am packing a different bag for this trip than I otherwise would have.
When my daughter lived in Africa, she was required by her organization to keep a “go bag” packed… a bag to keep ready to go in case a crisis arose and she had to evacuate the country quickly, fleeing perhaps for her life. The bag had to be small and easily handled and contain only that which was essential for the sudden, unplanned journey.
Bob and I have also packed a “go bag” for our cancer journey, since we will be traveling an hour each way for his chemo treatments and weather, health issues or other crisis could require us to unexpectedly stay in Nashville overnight or longer. I carefully considered the essential items we would need as I packed this bag for us and loaded it in the back of the car, where it is always on the ready.
But, even more importantly, I also realized the need to mentally and spiritually pack a “go bag” of attitudes, beliefs, and responses that are vital as we travel this new road, as well as discarding those attitudes and self-talking that would make the journey even more difficult and that must be left behind in order to travel well.
These negative attitudes come so easily to me, they are often my default response to crisis, they have been close traveling companions for many years and must be ruthlessly laid aside and given no place in my spiritual go bag:
Self pity … Fear … The Deadly D’s of despair, depression, defeat, and dejection ,,,,Taking up offense at people who disappoint me or hurt me as we journey…
But the essentials I must take with me are not easily packed, do not effortlessly arrange themselves in my go bag, must be determinedly sought out with purpose and choice and above all, the aid of the Helper:
God’s Word in heart and mind...Trust in God’s love, purpose and plan for us….A Biblical viewpoint of life….Thanksgiving….and yes, Joy.
And so my “Joy Journal” is filling up with entries, as I count 1,000 gifts, the eucharisteo that is part of every day when I choose to notice….
the very first unexpected gift, finding THIS
a shaft of sunlight through the jar of honey on the counter,the golden honey all glowing as if lighted from within
the winter brown grass transformed in early morning sunlight by a lavish coating of frost into a sparkling, glittering field of wonder when I go for the morning paper
the night music of wind chimes outside my window, a reminder that the Spirit moves like the wind in our lives, unseen but always present, playing God chords in our lives
a very small patch of clear, bright ,Peter Rabbit jacket blue-- in an overcast, smoky gray sky on a dull Monday afternoon
breath to breath, hand to hand, waking up to the grace of another day together
giggling little girls in braids and bathing suits skipping through the hotel lobby on the way to the indoor pool, passing blank faced adults seeking only coffee and brunch
a much needed phone call from a friend, only minutes after praying for her, bridging time and distance with laughter and memories shared and hearts united again
a gift of homemade bread, a whispered assurance of daily prayers on our behalf, a hug and promise to do lunch, all offered as I greet the family of God during worship on Sunday...true communion freely given, gratefully received
How could I not buy it?? Each day, I spray the joy and walk in the fragrance, I count moments of eucharisteo and record them so that they don't evaporate unnoticed, and I learn the hard lesson of joy . That it is inextricably tied to living thankfully on purpose, to living filled with His grace, to knowing that this joy is found in hard places and hard times for those who choose to "count it all joy" and seek the Joy Giver in the journey.
And so, we continue the journey, not knowing the future but knowing the One who holds our future and trusting Him to carry us one step, one moment, one day at a time as we dwell between His shoulders, for He is faithful and true!
"My Redeemer is Faithful and True" is one of my playlist songs for the journey---listen here and I hope you find it encouraging also!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCaeCcG8AyA
