Walking : A Call Back of Encouragement

      This morning, as we read our morning devotional from the classic book that has been an encouragement and inspiration over the past year, the challenge was given to "call back" to those behind us in the walk of life's challenges.

       Just over a year ago,  Bob and I began a new journey following his diagnosis of stage 4 cancer.  I began this blog as a way to process and share the walk that we were suddenly and unexpectedly starting.  I knew only that we did not walk alone, that our God was going before us, and was behind us, and would be with us at every turn of the road, and that we would be dwelling in His sheltering presence through it all. And so, one year later, I pause in the journey to look back and reflect on the road we have traveled, and hopefully to "call back" encouragement and hope as you walk your own road of challenges and unexpected detours and obstacles.  Because, we have learned that this road has been not only one of hard places, but one of great beauty and joy along the way.

                                                                

          

        For me, this year has been mostly about learning to walk.
                                                                                                                                                                                       

Walking is rather mundane in our culture... it doesn't have the mystique that is attached to running.... no fancy clothing, specialty magazines, talk of hitting walls and experiencing highs, prestigious marathons and news coverage....                                              .      

                    

                                                                                              

But,...

      I've always been intrigued by a little phrase in the Bible,  where God promises that those who wait upon Him--- who rely on Him and trust Him and focus their gaze on Him and believe that He acts for them---will "walk and not faint".(Isaiah 40:31)  This promise comes after the one that they will "mount up with wings as eagles and they shall run and not be weary".  Somehow, mounting up with wings and soaring like an eagle, and running the race without weariness, both seem to be much more dramatic and exciting promises than just walking without fainting.

                                                               

  
    But, isn't walking really harder? Simply because it is so mundane, so ordinary, so daily and constant. To walk and not faint is about perseverance.

And, the very foundation of our relationship with God, FAITH, is described, not as a soaring flight or an adrenaline fueled race, but as a walk.

"We walk by faith and not by sight".(2 Corinthians 5:7) 

Our Biblical examples of faith,  such as  Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and David, all are described in the Bible as those who walked with God.   Over and over in the scriptures, God admonishes his people to walk in His ways, in his statutes, in his presence and to not walk in the wrong paths and the wrong ways. The journey of faith is a walk.                                                                                          

And this year, I have been learning to walk.

This has not been a year to rush through, but a year to slow down, to notice, to pay attention to details, to learn to be present in the moment.

 Small things that would go unnoticed if soaring with the eagles have become visible and appreciated when walking.                                                  

                 

Acts of kindness that would be barely registered if racing for the next finish line have become more precious than silver as we walk this new path.

                            Simple pleasures have been consciously appreciated each day of this year.
           The practice of  eucharisteo has steadied my steps and enabled me to walk in thanksgiving                                         

 as we celebrate the gifts God has given us each day. Gifts of beauty, of simplicity, of laughter, of daily, ordinary life. Living with the diagnosis Bob was given, spending hours in the chemo lab, the hospital bed, the ER, makes the hours of not being there shine with an previously unappreciated glory.  Every day is a gift, every morning a time to express thanksgiving, every evening a time to rejoice.

A few weeks ago I came across the title of a book, We Make the Road by Walking, by Brian McLaren .I haven't read the book, but the title resonates with me. If we are commanded to walk by faith, how do  we learn to do it?  We do it by walking it. As we walk, we create the road we are walking on. By faith, we can transform a road of difficulty into a road of blessing and joy. A road of fear and uncertainty becomes a road of faith.

The road of faith is made as we choose faith, as we look to God's truth in each situation of our lives, as we apply God's Word to the details of our circumstances, as we believe God and not the other voices in our heads or on our facebook feed or in the news.

For too much of my life, I have made a different road.  At many times of crisis in my life, I have made a road of fear, a road of self-pity, a road of resentment and complaint....the antithesis of a road of faith. That road was made by choosing to walk by sight, by what I could see and feel and reason and hear from other people instead of choosing to walk in God's presence. That road was made by walking in my emotions instead of in God's word. That road was ugly, and hard, and filled with weeds and holes that tripped me up and left me bruised, scraped and bleeding in my own self inflicted wounds.
                   

But, this year, I am learning to walk and to make a different road.  I am still a toddler, walking on shaky legs and uncertain feet, but the road is called FAITH and this road is filled with wonder and thanksgiving as I look at all that God has done over the past several months.

                                                                   
***He has preserved Bob's life beyond the prediction of six months to a year that was given with his diagnosis. 

***He has strengthened Bob through 25 rounds of chemotherapy and enabled him to continue to participate in normal, everyday life....coffee at Chik fil A with friends, worship on Sunday morning with our church family, morning walks through the neighborhood, errands in town and chores around the house, eating out at favorite restaurants...simple acts that we didn't expect to be part of this year but that are cherished and deeply enjoyed.

***He has blessed us with two perfect and beautiful new grandchildren and the joy to be present with both newborns and experience their first days of life, as well as continue to travel and enjoy our families throughout this year.



***He has poured out lavish love upon us through friends who have prayed , called , messaged, sent cards and visited...who have truly been "Jesus with skin on" to us as we have walked.


***He has led us into a deeper relationship with each other and given us time to remember, reflect, and relive our past 44 years together with a new perspective and with the insight to see God's hand at work and His redemptive plan for all of the good and the bad, the highs and the lows we've experienced.


***He has brought back into our lives friends that were left behind along the many moves and changes of our lives, He has healed and redeemed other relationships, He has raised up prayer warriors for us among people that we have not even met, and put strangers in our path to bless us.

And, so we continue to "make the road by walking" as we walk in faith on this journey. Faith is not a quantitative measure, not a substance that some people possess more of than others. Faith is a process, faith is a journey, faith is past, present and future, faith is revealed as we walk in it and walk by it and walk through it. It is my prayer that I will continue to make the road that I am walking a road of faith and to encourage anyone else who needs to learn to walk. (For more about our journey this year, you can read the archived posts listed to the left of this one.)


And as I "call back" to you about our walk this year, I pray that the testimony of all that God has done for us will strengthen you and help you to believe that, no matter the storms or stumbles or darkness that you may be in now, there is joy to be found, there is beauty along the road and always, always, always, God has gifts for you in this journey that you can not yet imagine. 


Here is part of the poem from today's devotional---


"If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back--
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track:
And if, perhaps, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.


Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the lofty air was still.


If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back--
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.  
                       ( from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowan)














    
              .

Anchored

This time last year we traveled to the small lakeside town of Bayfield, WI to spend the 4^th of July with our son and daughter in law.
                                                        

                                                              

This time last year we kayaked the sea caves of Lake Superior, then watched fireworks explode in bursts of color over the deep waters of the lake.
                                              
                                               

　

This time last year the future stretched before us full of promise and expectation of new adventures and years to share them.
                                            

　

This time last year Bob didn’t have cancer.

                                                               

This year we traveled to Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville for a CT scan on the 4^th of July.

                                              

This year we watched fireworks on TV in the comfort of our home and struggled to stay awake.

                                                      

　
This year the future is uncertain, full of questions and uncertainty and the necessity of not making plans.

                                                         
                                                 

　

This year Bob has cancer.

This time last year God was good, merciful, sovereign, victorious, gracious, faithful, wise, loving and kind.

 This year God is good, merciful, sovereign, victorious, gracious, faithful, wise, loving and kind.

This time last year we had put our faith in God for our past, our present and our future. We had a history with Him in which we had witnessed amazing answers to prayers, seen Him provide in ways we couldn’t have anticipated, experienced more grace than we could comprehend, and were thankful for the life He had given us together.

This year we have put our faith in God for our past, our present and our future. We have a history with Him in which we have witnessed amazing answers to prayers, seen Him provide in ways we couldn’t have anticipated, experienced more grace than we can comprehend, and are thankful for the life He has given us together.

Much has changed, but underneath the storms of this life, we are anchored.


                                                             

definition: anchor ---“secure firmly in position, provide with a firm basis or foundation”


Google “anchor” and you will find an amazing amount of information on the various types of anchors, how they act in different situations, which are appropriate for various vessels and for different types of sea beds. 
                                                     

I know nothing about boats and anchors, but just from a cursory reading of some of the information available, it is very obvious that if you are setting out to navigate any type of waterway in any type of floating vessel, you’d best be sure that you have an anchor with you and that you have chosen the right anchor before you need it! 

The time to be sure that you have the correct anchor is not in the midst of the storm. 

                                            

The time to be sure that you have the correct anchor is                          not
                                  in
                                        the midst
                                                             of the storm.
We have launched out into the deep, we have left behind the peaceful shores and the planned journey and our course is now set for the open sea, where the waves toss, the gales blow, and our course is uncertain. As we face the coming storms, one thing is sure:

It matters that we have the right anchor.
                                              
From across the years, the lines of an old song have been circling into my thoughts at random times…while smoothing the sheets, while stirring honey into the oatmeal, while sitting beside him in the cubicle as the chemo drips, while watching the sun break through the clouds on another gray, cloudy day….

“in times like these, you need a Savior, in times like these, you need an anchor; be very sure, be very sure, your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock.”


And we are sure. 

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the hidden sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.” (Hebrews 6:19-20a)

Hope is our anchor.

Hope that is not pie in the sky, wishful thinking hope…

not name it and claim it, trying to bend God to our will hope….

not sending in seed money for a miracle hope

or trying to be good enough or have enough faith to move God to hear us hope,

but Biblical hope that is firm and secure.

Hope that knows ....
         our ways are not God’s ways and 
             there is mystery in faith, 
                that life is hard and we are not exempt because we are believers,
 but we are not in this alone, we do not struggle unaided, we are not abandoned or uncared for when the winds blow and the night is dark and the waves are high.
 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul.

This isn’t our first storm.

                                                

In the years of our journey of faith, we have struggled, like Jacob, and been left limping.

We have wept, like Jeremiah, and been confused by the mystery of God’s ways.

We have run away, like Elijah, and sought relief under the juniper tree because the journey was too much for us.

We have survived the years the locusts have eaten and seen them restored, and we have also praised and sung and danced like David in the days when joy poured down like rain, and 
         all of this, 
                       all of this, 
                              all of this 
                                  means that we know our anchor holds. 

                                                               

Because our anchor, our hope, is firmly and securely in the person and the work of Jesus Christ---his life, his death, his resurrection. Our anchor is the character and nature of God the Father. Our anchor is the ever present indwelling and empowering and comforting of the Holy Spirit. Our anchor is God’s Word and all that it reveals to us of His intention toward us and His promises to us, and that it is all for our good and His glory.
 Our anchor is sure. 

Not because of anything we do, but because of everything that He has done for us. Not that we are faithful, but that He is faithful. Not that we should boast, but that He should be glorified through us.

I have heard it taught and preached many times: “everyone is either coming out of a storm or they are in the midst of a storm, or they are getting ready to enter a storm.” 

 That is the nature of this life we live on earth. And while our storms are not all the same, we all have need of the same anchor.

“Be very sure, be very sure, the anchor holds, and grips the solid rock. This rock is Jesus, yes He's the one.”  My prayer for everyone who reads this blog is that you will choose the right anchor. 
 (A lovely treatment of the song , In Times Like These, by the Cadet Sisters here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMTbqvSOLRA  )
  

Perfume, packing and eucharisteo

Live Joyously. 
                                                    
That was the bold challenge that led me to make an impulse purchase this week: I bought perfume. Perfume. I almost never, ever wear perfume.

But on the way to the back of the huge beauty mart, focused on getting hair products that promised me volume and shine---yes, I'm still credulous after so many failed purchases---resolutely resisting the allure of rows of rainbow colored nail polish with names like “Don’t Touch My Tutu” , “You Calling Me a Lyre?“ and “Teal the Cows Comes Home”...a day’s entertainment just reading the labels....

            ...ignoring the seductive promises of skin products to renew, restore, and revive my aging skin and to lift and give sparkle to my weary eyes, resisting even the allure of one blatantly named HOPE IN A JAR---what marketing genius, naming a cream for what every woman seeks at the cosmetic counter...I determined not to be waylaid.

          Until. Until this. I was about to step around the tall ,free standing perfume display in the center of the aisle when my mind registered the words I saw on the placard.  Boldly calling attention to the new product, these words repeated on each shiny, cellophane wrapped box and  on each pink labeled bottle gleaming on the glass shelves….

 I stopped. I sprayed the sample on my wrist. I inhaled the sweet floral scent....
                                     but they already had me at hello.

Because, as we have begun this perilous journey called cancer, I have been seeking how to traverse it well. How do we live facing death? How do we not let the diagnosis rule our emotions and color our days? How do we live in light, in joy even, when walking this road? What do we need to pack and what do we need to leave behind as we take the journey unwanted, the trip unplanned for, the adventure not sought? Of course, we walk by faith, we walk knowing God is carrying us, but what purposeful steps do I take to make each day to make myself aware of God at work in my life?

One answer I have been finding is in eucharisteo---learning to live in joy, grace and thanksgiving. I am indebted to Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts,for introducing me to the understanding and practice of eucharisteo . "Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek work for grace, charis.But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word, chara,meaning 'joy'.....As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible...Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be---unbelievably--possible! Eucharisteo...the fullest life".  (One Thousand Gifts, selected, p.32-33)
                                               
                                                        

 
And so I take the "Joy Dare".   http://www.aholyexperience.com/joy-dares/
 ...a choice to notice my life, to record the daily blessings, the threads of God's grace woven almost indistinctly throughout my day unless I have eyes to discern their subtlety. In doing so, I have discovered that in the practice of conscious thanksgiving, of actively searching for joy, that my perspective shifts, and I am packing a different bag for this trip than I otherwise would have.

When my daughter lived in Africa, she was required by her organization to keep a “go bag” packed… a bag to keep ready to go in case a crisis arose and she had to evacuate the country quickly, fleeing perhaps for her life. The bag had to be small and easily handled and contain only that which was essential for the sudden, unplanned journey.

Bob and I have also packed a “go bag” for our cancer journey, since we will be traveling an hour each way for his chemo treatments and weather, health issues or other crisis could require us to unexpectedly stay in Nashville overnight or longer. I carefully considered the essential items we would need as I packed this bag for us and loaded it in the back of the car, where it is always on the ready.

But, even more importantly, I also realized the need to mentally and spiritually pack a “go bag” of attitudes, beliefs, and responses that are vital as we travel this new road, as well as discarding those attitudes and self-talking that would make the journey even more difficult and that must be left behind in order to travel well.

These negative attitudes come so easily to me, they are often my default response to crisis, they have been close traveling companions for many years and must be ruthlessly laid aside and given no place in my spiritual go bag:

           Self pity … Fear … The Deadly D’s of despair, depression, defeat, and dejection ,,,,Taking up offense at people who disappoint me or hurt me as we journey…

But the essentials I must take with me are not easily packed, do not effortlessly arrange themselves in my go bag, must be determinedly sought out with purpose and choice and above all, the aid of the Helper:

God’s Word in heart and mind...Trust in God’s love, purpose and plan for us….A Biblical viewpoint of life….Thanksgiving….and yes, Joy.

And so my “Joy Journal” is filling up with entries, as I count 1,000 gifts, the eucharisteo that is part of every day when I choose to notice….

the very first unexpected gift, finding THIS

in WalMart, yes, WalMart, when I was looking for a plain notebook to count gifts
 
a shaft of sunlight through the jar of honey on the counter,the golden honey all glowing as if lighted from within

the winter brown grass transformed in early morning sunlight by a lavish coating of frost into a sparkling, glittering field of wonder when I go for the morning paper

the night music of wind chimes outside my window, a reminder that the Spirit moves like the wind in our lives, unseen but always present, playing God chords in our lives

a very small patch of clear, bright ,Peter Rabbit jacket blue-- in an overcast, smoky gray sky on a dull Monday afternoon

breath to breath, hand to hand, waking up to the grace of another day together

giggling little girls in braids and bathing suits skipping through the hotel lobby on the way to the indoor pool, passing blank faced adults seeking only coffee and brunch

a much needed phone call from a friend, only minutes after praying for her, bridging time and distance with laughter and memories shared and hearts united again

a gift of homemade bread, a whispered assurance of daily prayers on our behalf, a hug and promise to do lunch, all offered as I greet the family of God during worship on Sunday...true communion freely given, gratefully received

  an unexpected display of perfume, shiny wrapped in cellophane , named Live Joyously

   How could I not buy it?? Each day, I spray the joy and walk in the fragrance, I count moments of eucharisteo and record them so that they don't evaporate unnoticed, and I learn the hard lesson of joy . That it is inextricably tied to living thankfully on purpose, to living filled with His grace, to knowing that this joy is found in hard places and hard times for those who choose to "count it all joy" and seek the Joy Giver in the journey.

And so, we continue the journey, not knowing the future but knowing the One who holds our future and trusting Him to carry us one step, one moment, one day at a time as we dwell between His shoulders, for He is faithful and true!

                   "My Redeemer is Faithful and True"  is one of my playlist songs for the journey---listen here and I hope you find it encouraging also!       
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCaeCcG8AyA